He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
