I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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