forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
honey bunches of taint.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
