This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
