I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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