8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
