and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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