Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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