After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
