You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Sext me about skeletons
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
