my phone needs a breathalizer
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
