Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I think my moral compass just broke
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