Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
