If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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