PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
operation harelip BJ is a go
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
