I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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