and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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