Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
