Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
