White coat. Heels.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
