If i come over, it means nothing
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
