this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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