It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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