I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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