we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I faked an abortion last night.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
