just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
