I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
