So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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