Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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