whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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