hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
My penis needs a shock collar
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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