She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
