you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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