I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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