i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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