O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
