just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize