Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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