well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
