The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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