Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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