how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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