I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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