i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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