so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
