But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
It's blow job season.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
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