I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
sarcasm needs its own font
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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