Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
