I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
