Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
