Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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