Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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