she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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