just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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