It's Friday. Sex?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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