U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
