People in love make me want to vomit
I could have mohawked her pubes.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
