Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize