I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
