She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Randomize
