Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
