Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
