Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
