I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Randomize
