My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize