Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
