I'm really into asian looking animals
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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