He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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